On nihilism…

As I was driving to Indiana to spend some sweet moments with annette I saw a lady with small toddler who were on the side of the road. She was changing her flat tire. I justified to myself that if I had seen here earlier I would have stopped and assisted. 10 years ago I was known to do that kind of thing. But in all honesty, I would have kept on driving.

It bothered me for about 30 seconds, and then I didn’t care. There was a time I deeply cared for my fellow man. Today? Well, generally, I don’t trust ANYONE. Now, if the will have a beer or a good conversation with me, then I may give them a chance. But generally, I don’t trust anyone, and I don’t care.

It is kinda freeing not to have to worry about EVERYONE else. I’m not the freakin MESHIAH for crying out loud.

Right?

Well, the end of the story is humorous. About 30 minutes outside of Shelbyville, my car had a blowout and I was the poor lady on the side of the road changing their tire. You know, God has a sense of humor doesn’t he.

on ineffable causes

Sadly I have not blogged in awhile and I honestly cannot think of a topic to begin with. So I will begin by hitting keys on the keyboard and see if anything materializes. How about an update on my life up to today? Good, then here we go: I am working, I enjoy my Job. It is fun. Annette is out of school and around the corner has her Licenser test. My sister is getting married on July 5th, (probably cause she realizes that only true inbred freaks get married on the 4th of July, so the 5th, yeah, much safer… she is going to kill me for that comment). I am looking and hoping to pick up and finish my Master of Arts in Counseling in the fall. It shall take 2 years, which sounds like an eternity… but hey, what else do I have to do with my life, Blog? Haha, yeah, there is a decent existence.

But I don’t think that is what this blog is going to boil down to. Perhaps counseling, or Group therapy; both that I take part in each week. At my mounting frustration at this idiosyncratic notion by Xian’s that nouthetic counseling is the ONLY WAY… (groan)…

But no. All topics seem trite and tiring. It sounds like I am trying to pick up my preverbal picketing sign and I am going to ‘take it to the man.’

So, I guess this is where I am going.

I don’t care….

Now, don’t get me totally wrong. I am NOT saying that I now choose not to care period. But these ineffable causes that I use to take on just to help, sound right, stand for truth… are complete and utter… well… bullshit.

Sorry for the word, but that is what I have been.

Now, I originally in this Blog when on to slam anyone (using very descriptive words like ‘inbred’ and ‘white trash’ to site a couple), but that contradicted the point that I was trying to make. So here we go in a better direction.

I don’t care, and I choose not to get angry… I see these battles being waged. And both sides are losers. To the guy who slams the creation museum, to the guy who things Homosexuality is AWFUL, to anyone who will start long bloody feuds I say…

Get a freaking life. Enjoy each other. Stop worrying about such trivial things. You know, I realize that the world is heading toward destruction. It is. Sorry.

I do not worry. I don’t. maybe it is my own nativity or maybe it is the fact that these ‘HUGE MOUNTAIN ISSUES’ have been going on for centuries and they are not going to change much.

Did you know that more blood has been spilt on the Date to celebrate EASTER, than the Iraq war?

Or that Rome fell due to the exhaustion of fighting these sort of fights?

Or that anytime you take a fanatical stance you are doing the EXACT THING you are trying to stop.. (GOD HATES FAGS vs. GOD IS DEAD… how is that sign any different?)

So there you go. Can we talk about something interesting? Insightful? Instead of these canned arguments that are old and trite.

It is no wonder I keep up with sports.

Starwars Holiday Special

Yes... it is real...

weird al was telling the truth....

what does ole George Say? Well at one Australian fan convention he reportedly said "If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it."

So, without further ado, Here is the

Star Wars Holiday Special (bask in the mysery for only five minutes...)

yeah, that 'great' huh... but you think you are a true fan? think you have the guts... that is only the cherry on this crap sunday... the show goes on for 1 1/2 hours! are you prepared to watch it all? if so.... click below:

Star Wars Holiday Special Click HERE

now, i have seen this steaming pile of filth a few times and i guess i feel jaded. Now understand, i'm not standing on the roof of a building deciding my fate.. But, this is worse than seen 'jar-jar binks' all over again. probably the one show that i looked to for enjoyment now i see as ... cheep or fake...

this is proof that some will do whatever you ask as long as you put enough ZEROS on the check. Sadly!!! i came away with some positives from this 'sesame street' knockoff of starwars.

harrison ford is a genius, no matter how bad the film is
carrie fisher has a good voice
the black lady part is so dirty, it is funny
mark hamill is still a douche bag

negatives are many, but here is the most important:
george lucas sold out (sorry, not a postive)

you know, i am not shocked.. (i saw that ewoke movie), but i am now a bit jadded when it comes to the star wars franchise...

i now no longer believe in the 'force.' I think Einstein Put it best:

It seems to me that the idea of a personal 'FORCE' is an anthropological concept which I cannot take seriously. I also cannot imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere. … Science has been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man’s ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.

I am SURE that is the quote!!!! just Sure!!!!

God, the Mental Construct?

I recently read an article I found interesting and unsettling. It is titled: “This is your brain on God.” In the article, it shows:
“While a group of neuroscientists at the University of San Diego were studying the brain patterns of epileptics, they stumbled across something they weren’t expecting: that epileptics who suffer a certain kind of seizure are often intensely religious, reporting an unusual number of visions, communications with God and even paranormal experiences.”


Now it is obvious why I find this unsettling, is God just some kind of cognitive construction made by the weak minded in order to get through their daily lives. I don’t think I have reached a conclusion on this, but with my recent run-ins with honest church goers I have to say that for 90-95% this is completely correct. For some freaky reason the only way you can be ‘good with God’ is if you ‘feel good.’

Cause God wants you to float around on rose-pedals

Cause God, or more accuracy put THEIR god, is some zen focused energy that gives us strength to do what we ‘want’ according to his all good, mystic, and hidden ‘will’

You know, I think for a lot of people out there this is correct, and they are Dead Wrong! How do I know, cause my God doesn’t require me to ‘feel’ everything, and that He is big enough to have an argument with.

I never win, but MAN are the palavers Epic.

So to this study, I say sure, they are right. Cause the world wants to see the Real God, not some faulty weak willed schizophrenic deity that is flightier than a group of jr. high girls.

Sadly, that is the god that they command you to worship… and I cannot do that.

on civil war*

madmen make wars

historians spin those madmen in victorious hallowed leaders (i.e. demi-gods)

intellectuals question the madmen's motives...

realization...

there are no heroes, only victorious madmen

(*this thought came about while listening to 'civil war' by Guns and Roses)

On pAraNoiA...

Paranoia paranoia Everybody's coming to get me Just say you never met me Im running under ground with the moles(Diggin big holes)Hear the voices in my head I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring But if you're bored then you're boring The agony and the irony, they're killing me I'm not sick but I'm not wellAnd I'm so hot cause I'm in hell (Lyrics from Lit - i'm not sick but i'm not well)

GO BUY A GUN... DO IT NOW... BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!

am i paranoid.. maybe...

am i on drugs... not yet, but a nice padded room with all the drugs i could ever want will be provided for me...

but i am convinced this time... WE ARE ALL SCREWED!

proof.
Proof?

PROOF!!
you want proof?!!!

I'll give you all the proof you need

THE WORLD IS FULL OF PSYCHO'S

still not convinced? fine, read THIS:

WE WILL ALL BECOME ZOMBIES!!!

THERE, THERE IS YOUR PROOF... NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!

I'M HEADING FOR THE HILLS... AHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Procrastination

i have been nipping, and planning on blogging all week



it is THURSDAY! ahhhh, oh well, what can i do...



instead of offering up something useful or interesting, i'm just gonna whine on here why i am sleepy and i just want to go back to bed. BUT, alas, i must work. so i will go, listen to weird al on my ipod for the 27th time (i'm an addict) and make people cry.



i love the smell of denied claims in the morning